Note 1: Liz Phair has been somewhat of an "idol" for me in a very strange sense, marking some sort of strange indie love affair with pop and Pavement-inspired guitar work.

Note 2: While I didn't really like Liz's transformation, I tolerated it. And hey, she may have put a little star next to her names in the black books of indie rockers, but it was what it was.

Given that, why should she come out (1) looking like a whore in torn up jeans and a sleazy white t-shirt (2) wearing a matching white HEADSET (no more mics people, oh no (3) on her square of oriental rug. Great way to excite your hometown crowd, Liz.

What's scary, though, is that people were excited. And while they may have been excited to hear songs like "Rock Me" and "H.W.C.", their effect on the old material had not gone unnoticed. Liz gave the crowd the option to hear "Stratford On Guy" or "Perfect World." I beat my friend in the ultimate shouting contest, hoping for Stratford, which had long been one of my favorite songs by Liz Phair. Taking some time solo on stage, Liz rushed through it, slurring her words, destroying my notion of this beautiful song. Even the liberating "Fuck and Run" became an outlet for her 12 year old fans to scream "fuck" loudly without getting in trouble with their parents who stood to the side drinking.

Rachael Yamagata, a lovely solo piano/guitar player who opened, stole the show away from Liz, because at least she was singing into a microphone and actually playing her instruments. Then again, Wheat, the other opener and openers for Liz last time I saw her, were just as mediocre. Even given that mediocrity, Liz smelled of something far worse: complete and utter failure.

Tips to make Liz's show better:

--Next time, create dance moves to "Never Said" and "Polyester Bride", maybe a "Like a Virgin" number for the latter.

--Choose openers who are indeed worse than you (I'm thinking Joss Stone as a possibility), so you cleverly mask your failed attempts at stardom by marketing the high-paying low-talent of others.

--Wear skankier clothes. No one will notice your music then. But you're on the right track.

So, Dear Liz:

Stay in LA, Chicago doesn't want you anymore.

Sincerely, Indie-Snob.

Rachael Yamagata: B
Wheat: C-
Liz Phair: D



Posted at 12:08 am on November 16, 2004

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